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Category Archives: Activity

Back Sweat At The Gym

We find this to be one of the most repulsive things in the entire world.  There’s nothing worse than seeing an empty machine, getting ready to sit down…and then you see a WET SPOT on the black pleather.  I can’t. Even.

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Unnecessary Amounts of Water At The Gym

We constantly see the meat monkeys carrying around gigantic JUGS of water and it’s just not necessary.  Dudes, if you’re spending so much time at the gym that you actually need to hydrate that much, then you probably have some kind of disorder.

Then again…we don’t want to share a water fountain with you either.

Personal Space At The Gym

Why is it that every time we get on a machine some disgusting juice monkey has to use the machine directly next to us?  Even when the gym is EMPTY.

Time Limits At The Gym

Our old gym in New York City had a 30 minute “time limit” during peak gym hours, mainly after work.  This is a good thing…BUT when assholes decide to stand behind us, basically tapping their feet, we want to punch them in the face.  It’s like hey asshole, I know you’re staring at my machine, which means that you see I have 2:40 seconds left before I stop.  Get off me.

Wedgies At The Gym

We can’t really remember the age where our parents explained to us that picking your butt in public is NOT ok.  And yet, somehow, certain people think that once you put sweatpants on, all bets are off.

Competitive At The Gym

There’s always one.  That one person who gets up all in our business while we’re on the treadmill and decides that when we’re running at 9.4, they’ll run at 9.5.  You know what, fuck them.

People Who Don’t Shut The F*ck Up At the Gym

We absolutely can’t stand it when we’re “in the zone,” as some put it, and all you can hear (above your iPod) is two or three bitches like “and then, OMG, he totally never called me!  WTF?!”  You know why he never called you?  Because you’re an annoying asshole that doesn’t know when to stop talking.